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13-Dec-2017 19:12

RIP in advance to that guy, and 5 for “I guess we’re the Night’s Watch now.” I love a little ironic twist, and I love Tormund, who’s toast.I know I can’t do anything points-wise with this, but I did find it disturbing that Jon’s main accomplishments in his first day as King in the North were sending his good friend to get killed by ice zombies, implementing a military state in which all children will be trained for war starting at age 10, and suggesting to his sister that she should please shut up forever.

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To round this scene out, Jorah’s greyscale-covered arm shoots out of the wall of the Citadel, and he growls a question about “the dragon queen,” like “Is she here yet?

Euron Greyjoy is in King’s Landing with a whole fleet of cool ships that all have wildly unnecessary aesthetic features, and he’s interested in marrying Cersei.

Or in his words, “Here I am, with a thousand ships and two good hands.” ( 5) I can remember only the general thrust of his zinger-riddled overture to her ( 5), distracted as I was by his eyeliner and absolutely bananas cosplay as the guy from Taylor Swift’s “I Knew You Were Trouble” video, but we’ll give him 5 for a bold come-on. That’s his job now, and I’m sorry to say that he gets a walloping -25 right out of the gate for this unfortunate demotion from “Readerly guy who worries about his own personal development the majority of the time.” It really is incredible that we can be more than 60 hours deep into this story, and still have cause for lengthy expository montages.

I am especially with her when she strides into the throne room (which someone has been dusting, I guess?

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) without even unpacking, and turns to her crew like, “Shall we begin?

” Hell yeah, and as I think I’ve said: this is going to be fun.